The Samsun Tale - Weekend of March 29th 2007

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin…..

Friday March 28th we gathered once more at Ercan Airport. No Santa hats this time and sadly not many supporters to cheer the Pumas on. No noisy horns to shatter the Samsun air! The team arrived as normal in dribs and drabs. The boys were in boisterous mood – the morale was high and there was a definite air of purpose within the team. However nobody was looking forward to the 7 ½ hour coach ride from Ankara up to Samsun.

Tour rules were decided at Ercan. After the delights of Tom ‘losing’ his passport having just got airside, the bemusement of Naci who was surprised to learn that Peter Heydon had stolen his boarding pass, Luke putting down his very distinctive ‘hoody’ and not finding it again till the following morning a decision was taken to abide by the Tour rule of only being able to point with your elbow. Cha Cha proved remarkably adept at this. The fine was YTL ½. He had probably racked up YTL 20 after 10 minutes but refused to pay much to the frustration of Jon Hoyles the appointed team treasurer. He would be dealt with later.

The flight passed without incident – only the one warning from the air hostess about rowdy behaviour putting off the other passengers. Atlas Jet even found the time in the short flight to provide a round of sandwiches and cake. It wasn’t far off the best meal of the weekend. Personally it was the first time I have flown Atlas Jet – their planes are new and comfortable with decent leather seats and leg room and better still they were punctual. Definitely something to consider for the future if you plan a holiday in Turkey.

Ankara Airport is a masterpiece of airport enterprise – every un-necessary space filled with pools of water, plants and all the design you would expect of a capital city airport. Unfortunately nobody seemed to want to work there. We must have waited over half an hour before a customs officer could be found to rape us of YTL 34 for the visa to enter Turkey.

The coach driver found us easily as we lurked menacingly in a large group outside the Airport entrance. Much to everyone’s relief the coach was a reasonably new Mercedes, clean with a decent sized fridge and TV and sound system. I think most of us had been prepared to rough it in something similar to the GAU coach that battles its way to and from the University every day.

I could go on about the coach trip but (probably much like this article) the journey seemed interminable, the miles just rolling on into each other as the hours crawled by. The road was quite interesting – one moment the coach was coasting along on smooth tarmac on a two or three lane highway, the next we were bouncing around on an unmade single file track and all the time this was the same road! Very entertaining! Various stop offs broke up the journey – the most memorable of which being the food stop in an upmarket truck stop. The team divided in two – some going for the traditional Turkish fare the rest (mainly the European contingent!) opting for the burger on offer at the other end. Needless to say the burger was not the greatest choice – cooked from frozen in at least 30 seconds, stuffed in a bun with ketchup, mayo and gherkins to hide the flavour and thrust into your waiting hand with an attitude that meant you didn’t hand it back. Sam got so excited he insisted that Morris throw his tea all over him.

We finally arrived at Samsun around 8pm. The hotel was light years better than the Istanbul hovel of the previous trip…..but you still wouldn’t choose to spend your own time and money there. We quickly split into the usual room sharers and sorted out our accommodation. Two representatives of Samsun (Mohammed the team captain and chairman) and an accomplice of his whose name I didn’t catch arrived at the hotel. They seemed a friendly pair and we were soon on our way to a restaurant for food – thankfully not the route march of last time. However the venue did catch us by surprise – the top floor of a local Debenham style store. Some of the younger Puma contingent decided it might be a bit pricey and legged into the night looking for a cheaper venue. Probably their mistake – Samsun had negotiated a 30% discount and the fare was good quality. However the venue was unlicensed – personally I was beginning to smell a rat – another dry night on tour ahead? A further few Samsun representatives arrived including the Ukrainian coach who had been staying with them for the previous week and the Australian ex-Rugby League player now a resident in Samsun. There was a certain amount of sizing up but nothing we saw dented the self-confidence of the Pumas around the table.

The meal finished we sauntered out into the night. The temperature had started to drop and Luke was missing his hoody. Sam, who had managed to bring no jacket at all, seemed relatively comfortable. Brad and Brian had slipped away earlier on a mission to find a drinking venue. They left a message telling of a bar about 200 yards away from the hotel with two Efes barrels marking the entrance. Our hardy group ploughed on into the cold night air certain that this time we would be successful in our quest to find them. We did find a bar but there was no sign of our intrepid forward party and it was a place that, had you been blind drunk and stumbled in, you would have sobered up pretty quickly as you paid the bill to leave. A circuit of the immediate area drew no sign of the fabled Xanadu and gradually our numbers dwindled until the final four of myself, Sebastien, Tom and Bryn were the only remaining searchers. Another circuit and we were back at the ‘Black Hole’ we’d found before. A very drunk Turk told us it was shut. That was not good enough for Seba so he bundled in hoping to survive on his French appeal. It didn’t work and we eventually called it a night. We never found this mysterious bar even in the cold light of day the following morning so questions still remain. My last memory of that search was to find a police station manned by several police officers standing out on the street and armed with very large machine pistols – where exactly where we?

Back at the hotel most of the guys were watching television in the small hotel foyer. People were tired but seemed sober and by 11pm the area was empty as people retired to their rooms. I climbed the stairs to the 4th floor where I was sharing a room with Morris who had retired earlier. I met Cha Cha in the hallway on the 4th floor. He was on his cell phone. I’m not accusing him directly but at about midnight someone was standing on the fire escape landing next to our open hotel window talking to the night about love, the universe and other important matters until about 1am. Eventually the social monologue finished and I settled down for the night. At some unearthly hour the local Mosque broke into full cry and I woke like I had been shot – the loud speaker felt like it was the other side of my bedroom wall. Finally that fell to silence only to be replaced by a couple of dogs who decided to have a fight. In the end they killed each other or some kind soul put them out of their misery and at last I thought I could catch some zeds. At this point Morris decided to prove that he was in the room and his snoring certainly made the point. It didn’t last long (he’s still here so I did nothing illegal!) and finally I dozed until the alarm clock went off at 7am.

Breakfast was at 8am and Morris and I were early to the restaurant. Peter and Eddie had been for a perambulation along the sea front looking for a suitable exercise site for a Puma warm up but without success. Eddie was to stay on in Samsun to help with their rugby education and I think the location wasn’t exactly what he had envisaged. He didn’t look that happy! The players sauntered to the breakfast room and after refuelling the decision was taken to call the first of what were supposed to be two court sessions for the weekend.

The scene was set: Morris was the presiding Judge ably assisted by Peter as the court recorder, Bazza as the prosecutor and Eddie as Counsel for the defence. Cha Cha was the first to be called his repeated pointing offences appalling all in the room. Defence Counsel wasn’t interested and when the fine was set at some magnificent sum he pleaded poverty much to the treasurer’s disgust. This then raised the question of whether he had enough funds for the trip which was an even more serious offence. At this point Naci came to his rescue announcing that he was holding Cha Cha’s folding (cash). Various other offences were recorded and dealt with but the most entertaining event was yet to come.

Peter had noted back in Ercan that Hi-Tower had been instrumental in purchasing two bottles of scotch and one of Barcardi. Peter’s concern was that the genuine high confidence of the team may have resulted in the taking of alcoholic liberties the previous night. Certain reputations meant that his suspicions were aroused and he meant to make an example if there was any truth in the situation. Hi-Tower was asked to produce the various bottles of spirits. He looked a little crestfallen but dutifully retired to his room in the company of Brad to fetch them. Two bottles of scotch were shown to the court. Upon the question of what had happened to the Barcardi Hi-Tower cast his eyes to the floor and eventually admitted that he had indeed drunk it. Dinesh his room mate quickly denied any involvement except to laugh when Hi-Tower mentioned where he had stuck the empty bottle. Things naturally came to a head. Peter had no choice but to go down the route of severe punishment so he started to lay down the law. The whole room was quiet reflecting on the fact that everyone knew their responsibility and Hi-Tower had severely let them all down. Suddenly Brad stepped forward curtailing Peter’s admonishment. In his hand he held the offending article seal unbroken. Everybody cracked up as all realised the joke that had been played. It was also a sign of the inherent team spirit. Hi-Tower had played his role brilliantly but perhaps too brilliantly. The team had originally believed him and their collective hurt over his purported behaviour was plain to see. Of course there had to be a penalty – Hi-Tower was given an official pardon and all eyes turned on Brad who now was the villain of the piece. The fine was cunning and painful – take the team kit home and wash it and buy all of Hi-Tower’s alcohol for the remainder of the weekend. That was going to be expensive! And I understand his missus wasn’t that impressed either!

We were left to our own devices for the rest of the morning before reconvening at the restaurant where we had eaten the previous night for lunch. When we arrived the atmosphere had totally changed. Samsun had planted a story of the up-coming game in the local paper and suddenly we were all celebrities. Calls for autographs and pictures from the waiters and one or two interested by-standers massaged the Puma ego to the point where they were becoming unbearable. The final straw was the police escort to the ground. As we waited patiently at the coach casually throwing several rugby balls into the main road beside us the police suddenly arrived. Disbelief quickly turned to glee as we realised the rumour was in fact true. We all piled on the coach and for the next twenty minutes pretended we were Manchester United.

The euphoria started to fade as we arrived at the ground – the stadium was large, probably capable of holding 10,000 and very well appointed. However the pitch was set up for soccer – no rugby markings of any description and worse still even the goal nets were still in place. They were to remain in place for the game as well.

We were over two hours early and the ground was deserted except for the grounds men. The changing rooms were opened and the team changed in order to start their warm up. The added warm up time was probably a life saver – no one knew what exactly lay ahead but the additional exercise meant the bodies were suitably supple for the conflict ahead. A minor issue arose when Sebastien started a touch rugby match. It quickly developed into full contact and Sam was at the receiving end of Luke’s boot with a nice stud scrape down the side of his ankle. Some magic cream applied he soon stopped whinging.

The match itself is suitably dealt with in the match report……well maybe not.

It was a travesty of rugby. Samsun were not a disorganised rabble waiting to be taken to the cleaners. One of their wingers had broken the Turkish national 100m record with a time of 10.50 seconds. They were fit and strong and they knew their weaknesses. The downside was that they allowed the passion of their game to override their limited understanding of the rules. To be brutally honest their strength and pace allied to good tutorship should turn them into a very dangerous side if they ever grasp the concept of rugby.

However they have many, many issues to deal with first and perhaps their current status is a microcosm of the problems facing the Turkish Rugby Federation. Ill prepared, badly taught and far too high an opinion of themselves. Rugby is a dangerous game first and foremost. The law is there for a reason – protection of the players. It will never deal with all the issues a rugby match creates but in the main it creates a framework on which the game is played and it doesn’t matter how bad or good you are as a team. Above all respect for the referee (however dire he is) is paramount. Whether you watch rugby at park or international level the referee is the most important person on the pitch. It is a fundamental of the game. I appreciate that Samsun are newly formed perhaps no more than 4 months old as a club. However they have to stamp out their petulant behaviour, the dangerous play that threatened the safety of all on the pitch (tackling, rucks, mauls all became a lottery of survival), the blatant obstruction and body checking and finally ignoring the commands of a referee who, although totally out of his depth, still tried to attempt some form of instruction when he eventually deigned to give a penalty. Some of the reactions were worthy of Ronaldo – every penalty given against them was treated with a tantrum of football proportions, kicking the ball away and remonstrating with the referee. There were many, many incidents in the game that deserve comment in this article, the straight arm tackle on the throat of Jon Hoyles being one of major note but for me the reaction of Tom Ringe summed it up. Late in the second half a great move by the scrum set up a break away chance on the wing for Tom. Tom is renowned in the Pumas for his aggressive attitude and in your face tactics……NOT! He was probably 20 feet away from the Samsun try line as the pass came to him but unfortunately knocked on. Not surprising really as 4 players converged on him from all angles, offside or not. Despite no longer having control of the ball he was hit twice by tackles. Getting up after this mini illegal fracas he turned to the opposing players and let rip in his own over the top style – a two word expletive best described in the Queens vernacular as ‘have sex and travel’. Immediately the Samsun players surrounded him and then the referee demanding to know why he had insulted their mothers and surely it was a red card offence. In another incident a Samsun player refused to leave the pitch after refusing to accept the red card shown and it resulted in the Samsun captain asking the police alongside the pitch (the residue of our earlier escort) to escort him to the changing rooms! And then they made a substitution which meant Samsun still had 15 players on the pitch. The referee was certainly a joke but even Brad running the line for him was taken aback by the sheer brazenness of it all. Even a Samsun supporter attracted to the game by the local paper asked the question of the Samsun coach ‘do they know the rules?’. My eternal question will be what on earth was the Ukrainian coach (a supposed professional) teaching them or was the language barrier that difficult.

The shame of it is that the Turkish Rugby Federation is in its infancy – teams such as the Ottomans and Kadikoy have provided great games with much excitement. The UN matches have shown the highs and lows but all were played within the spirit of the law. And without the law Rugby is nothing but a brutal mash of people smashing hell out of each other. At this moment Samsun aren’t good enough to play at this level, in my opinion. They need to re-evaluate their priorities and channel their enthusiasm into the classroom where perhaps they can absorb the laws of the game without killing anybody. Anyway that’s my opinion in a nutshell!

The carnage over the Pumas retired to the changing room. Tempers were high and a deputation of the Federation Chairman and Samsun captain arrived to apologise for the earlier debacle. Frank points of view were exchanged and eventually some form of concord was made. The team showered and changed and we headed to the bus for a well earned respite in a local hostelry. As a mark of the new peace agreement we even took some of Samsun players on the bus with us. As the police forged a passage ahead we broke open the scotch and we arrived at the bar in high spirits (no pun intended obviously!).  Again events overtook us as we had one beer and then were piled back onto the bus in order to go to a restaurant. The police had gone by this time, no doubt to go and clean their machine pistols.

Once at the restaurant we were ushered upstairs to a separate room away from the regular clientele. Although this meal was also alcohol free, beers for the journey had been purchased earlier so the mood was convivial. The game had largely been put to the back of everyone’s mind and both teams started to socialise in a much friendlier manner which was good to see. Dincer Kilercioglu got the Puma man of the match award – his and Mohammed Asari’s presence on the pitch providing the foundation on which the Pumas ground out their result. They were both awesome but Dincer scored a try which just shaded the result. Food, speeches and platitudes over we manned the coach yet one more time and this time headed for the entertainment zone! Sebastien and Luke appear on several infamous photographs from this point. Both seemed to have brought the wrong kit bag with them because suddenly there were two rather ugly sisters sitting on the coach or in Luke’s case……but then we all know about Luke’s predilection for commandos! (Work it out for yourself!) Their sister act was swiftly curtailed (thankfully). The locals on our coach had advised that the area was quite a strict Muslim community and such activity could provide an arresting experience.

Clothing back on and the rain now hammering down we finally arrived at the chosen bar. A live band, plenty of lively locals and a welcoming attitude were soon overwhelmed as the Pumas poured in. The beers flowed and the tall stories started. Tour rules don’t allow me to provide further details but everyone enjoyed an alcoholic friendly time although I’m sure Jon Hoyles hangover the following day had nothing to do with his fetish for head butting anyone who came near him – strange activity but the locals were happy to join in!
 
At whatever time o’clock we piled back on the coach FOR THE LAST TIME thank goodness. Certain nameless players, missing in action as the night wore on, were found huddled into their seats as they attempted to sleep. Rowdy behaviour and, yes, more photographs punctuated the early hours as we headed back to Ankara. Eventually, even Sebastien fell asleep and the coach drove on into the night.

We arrived at Ankara at 10am – four hours early for our flight. Timeout here to make a special mention of our drivers who showed remarkable patience and discretion as they put up with the general bedlam of the tour bus. It wouldn’t have been tolerated back in the good old Health and Safety conscious UK! For all the fracas on the pitch Samsun had organised the weekend well. It certainly shows hope for the future.

Beer at YTL 17.5 a pint at the airport certainly sobered up the mind so it was a very solemn crew that boarded the plane to Ercan. Again Atlas showed their mettle and a mention by the pilot that we were on board raised some tired cheers much to the amusement of our fellow passengers. I love the way airline passengers desert their seats at the mere mention of the Puma name!

We touched down just after 3pm and another tour had finished. As transport duly arrived to cart us off to our respective homes Brad manfully hoisted two plastic bags worth of dirty kit onto his shoulders and trudged off to make his explanations! It kind of epitomised the trip – a job well done but a nasty residue of what might have happened left hanging in the air.

Thanks for reading this far - well done! I decided this article should give you some idea of the length of the coach trip we had to endure!

Simon Kiddle